※ [本文轉錄自 joke 看板] 作者: haudai (你認識阿光 她很強喔) 看板: joke 標題: [老皮] A片的迷思 時間: Thu Jan 13 20:19:47 2005 WHAT PORNOS WOULD HAVE YOU BELIEVE A片會讓你相信... ****************************************************************************** 1. Women wear high heels to bed. 女人都穿高跟鞋上床 2. Men are never impotent. 男人決不會性無能 3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. 吃屄超過十秒就很爽了 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her. 如果女人手淫時被陌生男人撞見，她不會尷尬地尖叫，反而會堅持與他性交。 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm. 男人噴精於女人臉上時，她們會露出滿意的笑容。 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. 女人喜歡和醜陋的中年男子打炮。 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob. 女人吹喇叭時會失控的呻吟 8. Women always orgasm when men do. 男人高潮時女人也一定如是 9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket. 替警察吹吹喇叭會使女人逃過超速罰單 10. All women are noisy fucks. 所有女人搞起來都很吵。 11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 70年代的人沒有吉他獨奏的背景音樂就不能打炮了 12. Those tits are real. 那些奶子都是真貨 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. 有一種男人常做且很爽的性行為是用他半軟硬的老二反覆地抽打女人的屁屁 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. 男人射精時都會叫 " OH YEAH! " 15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!) 如果有二人，他們互相卯管(女孩也不會感到噁心) 16. Double penetration makes women smile. 雙重插入會讓女人笑開顏 17. Asian men don't exist. 亞洲男人是不存在的 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. 如果你遇到一個人和他的女朋友在樹叢性交，你若把你的老二插在他女友嘴裡， 他不會會把你揍個半死。 19. There's a plot. A片是有情節的 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. 從後方插入時，輕打女人的屁股真的能使她興奮 21. Nurses suck patients cocks. 護士都會吸病人的老二 22. Men always pull out. 射精時男人都會拔出來 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you. 你馬子抓到她摯友在幫你吹喇叭時，她只會一時稍稍不快，然後馬上加入戰局 24. Women never have headaches‥ or periods. 女人都不會頭痛...或是有月經 25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. 當女人在吸男人的老二時，不斷提醒她"吸它"是很重要的 26. Assholes are clean. 屁眼兒是乾淨的 27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned. 射精於女人的屁股上對有關各方面都是滿意的結果 28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find acock there. 女人總是對打開男人褲子時找得到一條老二有愉悅的驚喜 29. Men don't have to beg. 男人總不需要懇求 30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip. 站著被吹喇叭時，男人總是一隻手用力的放在跪姿女人腦後，而另一隻手則驕傲的 置於他的臀部。 ****************************************************************************** -- 曾經有一個天大的就可擺在面前，但我沒有珍惜， 到回娘家以後才後悔莫及，塵世間最痛苦的事莫過於此。 ● 皓 by beemay //■ --

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