作者shandidi (...)
看板CTSH92301
標題[轉錄]童子拜觀音!?...什麼鳥!?沒聽過!!
時間Sun Nov 12 02:21:34 2006
※ [本文轉錄自 StupidClown 看板]
作者: seeingrain (.........) 看板: StupidClown
標題: 童子拜觀音!?...什麼鳥!?沒聽過!!
時間: Sat Nov 11 03:58:16 2006
還記得宿營的戲，"西遊記"裡有一段叫什麼..."童子拜觀音"什麼的..??= =a
每次驗戲的時候演到那裡都會讓我突然想到一位同學
想當初高中時，一下課都會朋友約一約一起去廁所上廁所的經驗
不過大部分都在聊天打屁
有一次我跟幾個朋友照慣例一起到廁所
為了方便...我暫時稱這幾個朋友代號
A同學跟B同學還有我三個人到廁所去
男生的廁所只要一下課小便斗幾乎是客滿，而且每一排後面還會排很多人在等
這次我們全都要上廁所，所以每個人排一排，示意圖↓
J J J J ←小便斗
O O O O ←放著狂戰士正在飆尿的男人(-防)
O O O O ←充滿著即將爆發尿液的認真的好學生
O O O O →同上
↑ ↑ ↑
A同學 B同學 我
等了許久，終於到我們前面的人尿了(感動)
這時B同學從他前面那個正在享受男人飆尿的浪漫的人的背影發現他是我們班上的C同學
B同學:[咦!?這不是XXX嗎?哈哈!!]然後一臉邪惡的奸詐樣...看來他是想趁C同學正在狂戰士而毫無防禦且無法反抗的情況下
對他做出不堪的事情...(C同學由於在班上很好開玩笑所以B同學不會對他有所客氣，反而有一點放水會對不起C同學)
這時B同學的手勢做了出來...哇!這就是傳說中的千年殺嗎??
B同學集氣集了三秒，然後就在這個時候!!!!
啪嚓!!B同學雙手的食指跟中指竟消失在C同學的屁股上
這可真謂一陽指的最高境界，連南帝一燈大師都有過之而不及啊~~
[贛!!!!!!!!!]C同學的慘叫聲響徹整個廁所
這聲"贛"字的慘叫是真的相當淒零，一個男人所發出的慘叫聲，而且叫到後面快結束時還轉音為假音，最後以稍微沙啞的氣聲漸漸淡出
這沙啞可真是沙的剛剛好、啞的恰恰準，好一個完美的結尾
而C同學的臉型面目似猙獰似掙扎，眼球外凸泛血絲，咬牙切齒、面部抽筋，而脖子的靜脈、動脈、淋巴結和神經全都出來探頭
咦!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
C同學的臉???!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?
贛!!他不是我們所說的C同學....................................................
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B同學就這樣愣住...
然後這位無辜的"偽C同學"轉過身來，然後一巴掌往B同學臉上打下去，罵了一聲贛!然後一拐一拐的走掉
那個背影我想我ㄧ輩子都不會忘記，那充滿恥辱、惆悵、黯然、銷魂的背影
我國中一直無法理解的"朱自清""背影"一文中所表達的感情，這時我總算能夠體會朱自清那時的感受了...看著他的背影遠離，我流淚了...
那背影好黯然、好銷魂啊...
而爆點呢??大概就是那位偽C同學尿到一半被捅得褲子上佈滿激發的淚液....
還有B同學被那沾滿屬於男人的浪漫的手一巴掌打在臉上......
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◆ From: 140.134.242.141
1F：推 jzn:XD 11/11 04:02
2F：→ firehand:C同學~~納命來~~凸 11/11 04:03
3F：推 lenjoyn:聽說我某高中強者同學在軍訓課時做過一樣的事= =+ 11/11 04:04
※ lenjoyn:轉錄至看板 KS95-319 11/11 04:06
4F：推 allen70610:哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈~~~~半夜大笑中 11/11 04:14
5F：推 lanline:好痛～～～ 11/11 04:21
6F：推 asubelieve:這真的不推不行!!!!好黯然好銷魂XD 11/11 04:29
7F：推 polar17:XD 11/11 04:32
8F：推 DarrenTao:痛... 11/11 04:32
9F：推 clhd:贛 害我狂笑 XDDDDDD 11/11 04:37
10F：推 tchky:沙的剛剛好、啞的恰恰準，好一個完美的結尾 11/11 04:39
11F：推 BleuCiel69:本日最佳文筆就是你啦!!!!!!(頒獎) 11/11 05:28
12F：推 sos3366:不推不行啊 XDDDD 11/11 05:38
13F：推 alinmoai:我笑了XD 11/11 05:40
14F：推 wheels:KS!! 好樣的學弟...你們現在也來這套啊.... 11/11 06:03
15F：推 fatso:幹好酷!!!!!!!!!! 11/11 06:07
16F：推 duckie1121:我的老天爺啊~~整個是笑到肚子超痛的!! XDDDDDDDD 11/11 06:35
17F：推 alanpipi:怎麼不是"喔".............那會更刺激XD 11/11 06:57
18F：推 athomas:一早就大笑 今天心情會很好 11/11 07:00
19F：推 cctina:好好笑 >u< 11/11 07:12
20F：推 GreenNicky:XD 11/11 07:22
21F：推 HukataNami:形容得超好@@+ 11/11 07:37
22F：推 himurajacky:啊哈哈哈哈哈哈.... 11/11 07:39
23F：推 pest:手沒有洗的一巴掌 11/11 08:09
24F：推 Still28:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 08:22
25F：推 howshouw:空格少點 這絕是筆極品....(搖頭) 11/11 08:32
26F：推 Luxemburg:轉音為假音 XDDDDDD 11/11 08:48
27F：推 kendawx:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 08:51
28F：推 devilcavalry:文筆將笑點整個展露出來啊XD 11/11 08:56
29F：推 pcgamelee:可憐的偽C同學 11/11 09:10
30F：推 biscuit125:幹～ 笑翻XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 09:32
31F：推 imeder:轉音為假音 XD 11/11 09:41
32F：推 anrris:超好笑 XD 11/11 09:47
33F：推 JasonSin:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 09:47
34F：推 kingheros:好可憐的偽C同學阿XDDDDDDD 11/11 09:51
35F：推 iowaya:XDDDDDDDDDDDdd 11/11 09:51
36F：推 st4123:XDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 10:08
37F：推 ferryw:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 10:11
38F：推 always18:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 10:17
39F：推 sigma2003:XDDDDDDDDDD...真的好好笑 11/11 10:20
40F：推 camuskiroro:XDDDDDDD 好個朱自清 好個背影 ~~XDDDD 11/11 10:30
41F：推 dhero:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 10:33
42F：推 klubin:XDDD 11/11 10:35
43F：推 adonistung:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 10:49
44F：推 xien721:超好笑XDDD 11/11 10:52
45F：推 mu0102:贛！！！！！XDDDDDDDDD 11/11 10:55
46F：推 delavino:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 11:17
47F：推 kodato:XD 11/11 11:25
48F：推 scapegoat:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 11:45
49F：推 colorma:好好笑~XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXD 11/11 11:45
50F：推 Cheney0318:賞你一個XD 11/11 11:46
51F：推 weiche216:笑到翻過去了 XDDDDDDDDD 11/11 11:47
52F：推 fox3:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 12:02
53F：推 mooninsnow:好悲慘喔>口< 11/11 12:10
54F：推 f18811881:贛~~~!!! 11/11 12:10
55F：→ lifeking:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 12:23
56F：推 mayday198076:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 12:31
57F：推 end61728:哈哈~ 11/11 12:34
58F：推 newyorklions:推啊~~ 11/11 12:47
59F：推 abilet:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 12:52
60F：推 genjuromkiii:你為什麼要代替小便斗... 11/11 12:53
61F：推 DanielP:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 13:06
62F：推 dammbob:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 13:26
63F：推 pinkdemon:可憐的偽C同學啊～在最沒防範時受到攻擊 11/11 13:34
64F：推 desirefun:超好笑的啊～～～ 11/11 13:36
65F：→ mosquito3467:幹!看到認識的了~!! 11/11 13:46
66F：推 shiuan409:可憐的偽C同學XD 11/11 13:56
67F：推 thegod13:我笑超久的阿阿阿阿阿XD 11/11 13:57
※ thegod13:轉錄至看板 KS95-318 11/11 13:58
68F：推 mlikcat:超好笑.....XDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 13:58
69F：推 Elivanta:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 14:00
70F：推 uainken:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 14:05
71F：推 ston1002:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 14:11
72F：推 ATAJDEM:好黯然好銷魂的文筆啊 推一下推一下 XDDD 11/11 14:17
73F：推 mysterymo:借轉 謝謝 11/11 14:20
※ mysterymo:轉錄至看板 NTUmed95 11/11 14:21
74F：推 starlone:你為什麼要代替c同學... 11/11 14:24
75F：→ tretrefly:看不太懂 11/11 14:43
76F：推 brings:哈，還蠻好笑的，很生動XD 11/11 14:44
77F：推 Lorchune:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 14:45
78F：推 Jessica9869:超好笑的~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11/11 14:59
79F：推 beatrizjuan:文筆很讚啊 超好笑的XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 15:08
80F：推 sharry:笑超久的啦XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 15:11
81F：推 fish0112:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 15:15
82F：推 haggis:文筆好妙XDDDD 11/11 15:23
83F：推 hatasky:有笨點....... 11/11 15:30
84F：推 blackkane:幹 笑死我了..... 11/11 15:45
85F：推 ms1121:重點是還沒洗手啊!!!!! 11/11 15:53
86F：推 bohun:囧~~現在不是都叫千年殺 11/11 15:55
87F：推 slex:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD笑死我了 11/11 16:12
88F：推 kyhsiuan:你的文筆真的很棒呢～好好笑XDDD 11/11 16:14
89F：推 superior119:狂笑中XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 16:14
90F：推 ayuandjack:XDDDDDD笑到翻掉 文筆真好!!!哈哈 11/11 16:19
91F：推 tupacshkur:XDDDDD 11/11 16:20
92F：推 roger0918:好黯然好銷魂啊XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 16:33
93F：推 gn00063172:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 16:44
94F：→ gn00063172:黯然銷魂贛? 11/11 16:45
95F：推 eastsea:好笑 11/11 16:48
96F：推 HADYKID:XDDDDDDDDD 11/11 16:50
97F：推 bard614:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 16:55
98F：推 trsa:我笑到肚子好痛XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 17:06
99F：推 zforlong:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd 11/11 17:07
100F：推 cathyting:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 17:15
101F：推 krain1:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 17:19
102F：推 snowforever:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 17:21
103F：推 kuo1102:段皇爺：要練我家的一陽指，你還未夠班！ 11/11 17:22
104F：推 CRYM:文筆真妙XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 17:28
105F：推 bullskoala:XDDDDDDDD超好笑 11/11 17:37
106F：推 clyden:-.-我看成 那位偽C同學尿到一半被捅得褲子上佈滿激發的尿液 11/11 17:37
107F：→ seeingrain:那個激發的淚液是尿液沒錯，只是個暗喻 11/11 18:03
108F：推 Roof37:報啊 11/11 18:05
109F：推 yiyun1125:好北七XD 11/11 18:07
110F：推 idpyyu7582:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 18:08
111F：推 f575739:這真的是XDDDD 11/11 18:08
112F：推 shell922:98 快爆了 11/11 18:09
113F：推 boltsky:XD 11/11 18:11
114F：推 peridot:文筆實在是生動到不行呀XDDDDDDDDD 11/11 18:45
115F：推 bilif:我以為C同學會突然括約肌鬆弛之類的勒~~~ 11/11 18:57
116F：推 lsc69536:我笑到肚子痛了 11/11 20:34
117F：推 prononhead:我國中同學做同樣的事情,足足被打了十分鐘...(?) 11/11 20:35
118F：推 kenny750730:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 20:39
119F：推 xxx22088:雖然很不道德不過我看到形容還是笑了 b下場也是罪有應得 11/11 21:01
120F：推 ann111451:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD哈哈哈 11/11 21:04
121F：推 spiritia:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 21:16
122F：推 WineCheese:沙的剛剛好、啞的恰恰準，好一個完美的結尾 XDDD天啊 11/11 21:26
123F：推 inale:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 21:35
124F：推 biteAss:文筆真好推一下....狂笑XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 21:35
125F：推 kunbu:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 在公司鱉笑好痛苦阿!! 11/11 21:41
126F：推 ofkofk:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 22:49
127F：推 spfd:請問~~~什麼是驗戲啊? 11/11 22:52
128F：→ zhou:XDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 23:09
129F：推 juliehome:超好笑~~笑到流淚了~~~ 11/11 23:11
130F：推 chocobos:笑死我啦~哈哈哈哈XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 23:19
131F：推 asco12781111:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD太好笑了 11/11 23:37
132F：推 nsmmsn:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/11 23:55
133F：推 Judicator:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/12 00:07
134F：推 q8q:XDDDDDDDDDDD 11/12 00:18
135F：推 lishinglele:超好笑....我大笑了....哈哈哈 11/12 00:26
136F：推 megaboost:文筆超好啦!!!!!!!!!!!! 11/12 00:45
137F：推 superyas:看完鸚鵡後...偽C：這個局我佈很久了!!! 11/12 01:13
138F：推 TOUCHLOVER:承認你就是B同學吧 11/12 01:13
139F：推 bonny0512:我笑到臉抽筋了啦~~~ 11/12 01:24
140F：推 pths40:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/12 01:36
141F：推 AchiU16:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/12 01:42
142F：推 DawnSunrise:佳。 11/12 02:02
143F：推 wchf8:XD 笑到肚子痛了 11/12 02:10
144F：推 how1earn:好笑!! 11/12 02:16
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145F：推 ovsp:哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈 經典 11/12 02:48