06/15/03 JOHN CANZANO Well, Portland, I am about to say something that might be difficult to hear and I hope you forgive me because it needs to be said. We are a joke. Wait, not just any joke. We're an officially licensed NBA laugh. "It's just a little joke," Brian McIntyre says. McIntyre, an NBA senior vice president, handed out T-shirts to members of the media covering the Finals. Those shirts included an official NBA-license tag. And they had the words, "Both teams played hard," printed on the front. It's a little joke. We're a little joke. And right now, I don't feel sorry for us. Don't blame McIntyre. Or even the NBA. We should be thanking them for this week's reminder of how embarrassing and painful the last few seasons with the Trail Blazers have been. Portland's season ended May 4. We thought the one-liners would end with them. We figured we were clear of the "Jail Blazers" references, the Rasheed ribbings and marijuana-laced mockery, but here we are with the NBA Finals heading to Game 6, and the league's favorite punchline is still, well, us. McIntyre handed out the T-shirts. One by one, the recipients pulled them open, held them up and laughed. One joked that they must have been paid for out of Rasheed Wallace's fine money. During the Blazers' first round series against Dallas, Wallace walked into a news conference and repeatedly uttered, "It was a good game. Both teams played hard," until he was excused. The league fined him $30,000. The money goes to charity. Blazers fans were embarrassed. The league was embarrassed. Even coach Maurice Cheeks was embarrassed. The day after Wallace's showing, Cheeks was asked if the Blazers planned to put Wallace on the podium for the postgame news conference. "If they try to do that, you'll see me playing the best defense of my life," Cheeks said. Decide for yourself if "Both teams played hard" is funny. You've been hearing it from Wallace for two seasons, so I'm guessing it's not. But also decide if you think Portland has been asked to have a sense of humor more than its fair share in the last few years. The T-shirt may have been poking fun at Wallace. But his jersey says he plays for Portland. He represents us. So, the joke is on us, too. This makeover of the Trail Blazers has a lot of facets. The franchise needs a president and a general manager. It also needs a point guard. But right now, it needs a new image more. You can talk about hiring new executives. You can talk about making a pitch for free agent point guards such as Gilbert Arenas or even Jason Kidd. But until the franchise commits to making over its ruined image, the changes are cosmetic, nothing more. Wallace has to be traded. He is the biggest clown in the circus. He represents t he loudest laughs. Among other things, last season Wallace threatened a referee, tried to climb into the stands to fight a Golden State fan and received probation after being cited for marijuana possession. Be sure that the player Dallas fans dubbed, "Ra- Weed," during the playoffs is not through embarrassing Portland. Owner Paul Allen promised a change in philosophy. And unless it was an empty public relations ploy, that change has to include trading Wallace, who enters the final year of his contract. Go ahead, play the "what if" game. Imagine Portland reached the NBA Finals this season. Pretend the Blazers won that first round Game 7 in Dallas, flattened Sacramento in the second round and sneaked by San Antonio in the Western Conference finals to play against New Jersey for the NBA title. It's a stretch, but just close your eyes and imagine it. Portland would be playing for a championship. The world would be watching. And they'd be laughing their heads off. We're just a little joke, though. --

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