鸟飞猫跳的一集 之 防雷页~~ 本集重点: 阿编你放过女王大人会死吗? 片头,两名女子在街上走着, 抱怨调侃今天遇到的搭讪男子们, 忽然, 其中一名女子停住, 指着对街一对情人对同伴说 女子A: See that way he looks at her? 女子B: (叹气) Just like she's the only one in the world. 女子A: That's what I want. Where are all those good men? 一名男子从空中摔下, 不偏不倚的掉到两人面前, 两人尖叫. 警方到达现场~~ 烤鱼: Smell that? 大卫: Alchol. 烤鱼: So maybe our victim had too many cups and fall out of his balcony accidently. 囧尼在询问两位目击女子 女子B: It's like he's falling from the sky. What are you looking at? 囧尼: Oh, I'm sorry, you got something...here...(比女子胸口处) 女子B: Oh, oh, do I, oh... 囧尼: Don't move. (伸手拿起那块东西) Here you go. 女子B: Thanks. What's that? 囧尼: Just a little piece of brain. 女子B: Oh... 女子A: You always said you want a man with a piece of brain. I'm sorry. I made jokes when I was nervous. 囧尼: Do you remember hearing anything? Like screams? Shouts? 女子A: No... I was just looking for a good guy. One with a pulse. (看囧尼一眼) Maybe with a badge? Sorry. I flirt when I was nervous, too. 凯姐在封锁线外跟一名男子拥抱後走进来... 凯姐: Our victim is Brad Melone. He checked-in four days ago. He came from xxx. V警探: (打翻醋坛子) You got all the information with a hug? 凯姐: Jerry? He used to work with my father. V警探: Come'on. How well you know this guy? 凯姐: (笑) That's not like what you think. When Sam died, he left me a piece of Eclipse. V警探: (大惊, 眉头一皱) How big the piece? 凯姐: Well, just... a piece. V警探: Then why don't I never heard that? 凯姐: I don't want others to know. V警探: So I am the others now? 凯姐: Let's... just talk this later. 凯姐转向囧尼跟烤鱼, 告知他们死者身分. 凯姐: He might just come to gamble. 囧尼: See a show. 烤鱼: Kiss your life goodbye. 囧尼烤鱼进入死者房间搜查 烤鱼: Everything in the place. There is no suicide note. 囧尼: Or maybe he's not the type to write one. (查床单) No, no sign of sexual activity. 烤鱼: Looks like our victim is alone last night. (走道阳台边) The door is locked! 囧尼: Maybe he didn't jump, maybe he was pushed. Which means he was not alone. 烤鱼: (采集阳台门的扶把迹证) Got a print. 莎拉跟小葛前往另一个现场~~ 布拔: Okay, we got a double homicide. Lance and Denise Erwin. 莎拉: Who called in? 布拔: (指指倒在血泊中的Mrs. Erwin) All she can get up was "Help me" and then there is no response. 小葛: (靠近Erwin夫妻的宠物鹦鹉) Hey, could you tell us what you see? I'll give you a cracker. 布拔: I already called the Animal Control for the parrot. The husband is in the bathroom. 小葛: I can tell he was not stabbed. 布拔: Mr. Erwin probably was preparing to go to work seen. He worked in a gas station and his shift starts at 7:30. 莎拉: Looks like Mrs. Erwin is making him a breakfast. Egg roll probably. With peppers and tomotos inside. 布拔: How continental. Lucky guy. 小葛: (看看客厅墙上的合照, Erwin夫妻一身牛仔装束, 先生肩上搭 着鹦鹉, 太太手里抱着猫) But looks like they're from Australia or somewhere else. 莎拉: Come'on, that's still a lovely family photo. I didn't see a cat. Probably took off. (开始翻查东西) Cash and credit card are still in the wallet. 布拔: Well, maybe they were targeted. (向外走把现场交给CSI) Oh, hi, David. 大卫: I'm so sorry I'm late. One of those days... 小葛: Not a big deal. They're not going anywhere. 大卫: (看着碎掉的玻璃桌跟倒在里面的Mrs. Erwin) What is the deal with glass table today? 烤鱼跟囧尼还在从天而降男的现场. 烤鱼: The print on the balony is Malone's own. 囧尼: (困惑的走出阳台往下看) Look where the body land. 烤鱼: (也走进阳台边缘) Looks like he was falling from one floor less..... 於是两人在V警探陪同下前往次一楼层的对应房间. V警探: Stacy XXX check in this room. No connection to the victim we know. 烤鱼: (看着房间门前的地毯) Drop of blood. V警探: (敲门) LVPD! Open up! (没反应, 刷了钥匙卡後进入) 囧尼: Got a blood trail. (前进到卧室) Hey... 烤鱼跟V警探叹了一口气看着倒在床上的两名女子, 她们身上的床单满是血迹. 烤鱼上前要查脉搏, 结果两名女子忽然倒抽一口气惊醒. 其中一名女子抱着小垃圾桶狂吐. 囧尼: (拿了一杯水给他) Here you go. Drink this. Stacy: Thanks. 烤鱼: It appears the blood on your sheet doesn't belong to any of you. Stacy: What happened to us? 囧尼: We were hoping you can tell us. Do you recognize this guy? (出示死者照片) Stacy: No, I don't think so. 烤鱼: We think he fell from your balcony. Dana: We had a lot of drink last night. Everything is haze. Stacy: What happened to that guy? 囧尼: He's dead. Stacy: (脸色大变) I'm gonna to get sick again. (继续狂吐起来) 烤鱼: We'll send you to the hospital. Give you a check-out. 囧尼: But we'll still need to ask a few questions, okay? 莎拉在听取罗宾爷爷的验屍报告, 罗宾爷爷说Mr. Erwin是淹死的. 莎拉: But there is no water in the tub. 罗宾爷爷: He probably hitted first, and then lost conciousness. He fall with face down, and got drown with the water on the bottom of the tub. By the time you arrived, the water was gone. 布拔询问Erwin夫妇的邻居, 出示邻居留在Erwin夫妻电话中的威胁留言 邻居: You can't say it's me. 布拔: You called from your number. 邻居: Anyone visited my house can use the phone. 布拔: Dude! It is your voice. 邻居: Yeah, I hated him, all right? But I didn't kill him. They're just... too noisy. 布拔: You hate your neighbor just because the bird is too noisy? 邻居: Not only the bird. The Erwins fight with each other all the time. 布拔: Never think to call in? 邻居: No, if they would like to kill each other, I'll let them. 布拔: Then how about Mrs. Erwin? 邻居: Oh, I'm fine with the wife. Having some pretty hot sex with Denise several times. (笑) 凯姐在医院里采集Stacy跟Dana身上的迹证, 两人手上都有明显的瘀青. 凯姐: You ladies have a pretty crazy night. Stacy: We want to celebrate. My divorce finally successed yesterday. It takes totally 7 years! 凯姐: I've been there. Stacy: Then you know. It has been my worst time in my life. 凯姐: Is it possible you and Dana meet Brad somewhere during the night? Stacy: I can't remember. We were pretty hammered. All I can remember is when I was dancing. Uh, we were at a club. 凯姐: Which one. Stacy: I have no idea. We from one end to another Stripe. The last thing I remember is I'm looking down a long tube. 凯姐换去跟Dana谈 Dana: I told you I don't remember. 凯姐: I understand. We're just trying to figure out what happened to you. Dana: I would like to know that too. 凯姐: The evidence suggests that both of you and Stacy engaged in sexual activity last night. Dana: (哭出来) Oh my God. I met my husband when I was 16. He's the only man I have ever been with! 烤鱼跟囧尼在Stacy跟Dana的房间... 烤鱼: Is it really possible to get that drunk to remember nothing? 囧尼: Yeah. I once wake up with a bowl of cornflakes infront of me but has no idea how I get there. 烤鱼: Why am I not surprised? (翻出一个熨斗, 上有血迹) Huh, Stacy just got through the process of divorce recently. Maybe our victim said something or did something remind her her ex? 囧尼: And Dana helped her dump the body? You know what people say "... A really good friend will help you move a body." 小葛和莎拉在讨论他们的案件, 显然Erwin夫妇争吵的前科累累... 莎拉: Apparantly Mr. Erwin put his fist through the glass. So maybe there is no intruder in this case? 小葛: Mr. Erwin killen his wife. And when he headed to the bathroom to clean himself, he slipped in her blood and got drowned in the tub. 囧尼跟凯姐报告说, Stacy跟Dana的床单上的血迹都是属於同一个人的 凯姐: Brad Malone. 囧尼: No, an unknown male. 凯姐: Are you suggesting there is another guy? 囧尼: I'm saying that three-way was a four-way. 凯姐: Oh. 莎拉跟小葛回到Erwin夫妇的屋子搜索 莎拉: What is he doing here! (看着还在笼子里的鹦鹉) 小葛: The Animal Control must forget him. We should bring him back! By the way, what kind of a parrot that doesn't speak? 莎拉: Well, he might be traumatized. He witness his Dad killed Mom. 小葛: Which we don't have any evidence to support yet. (靠近笼子) You know, it would be much easier if you just tell us what happened. 两人开始搜索~~ 小葛: I got blood and bunch of feathers in the bathroom. 莎拉: What? The door is opened and I got some traces. 小葛: So there is a intruder. 莎拉: Well, they're paw prints. Guess tha cat in the hat is back. (莎拉弯腰,看到一只黄虎斑猫瞪大眼睛看着她) I found him. (对猫咪说) You're coming to the lab, too. Come'on, kitty. 凯姐跟V警探~~ V警探: She had no memory of the night before at all? Come'om. Give me a break. 凯姐: Give me a break!? You got no idea what feels waking up naked, not knowing what happened to you, and worrying all those possible scary things! V警探: (很迅速的理解到凯姐又有没告诉他的事, 脸色很难看) But you do? 凯姐: (沉默一下下) Well, yeah. A couple years ago, I went to a concert with a friend and someone roofed me... V警探: Was you... 凯姐: No. I wasn't, I thought I was. There was just hours in my life that I totally have no idea what happened. V警探: And you never thought to tell me this? 凯姐: Not something I like to talk about. V警探: Well, I got used to that. 凯姐还想说些什麽, 结果囧尼走进来打断了对话. 囧尼: The alchol in Stacy's system is 0.38. V警探: That equals to 16 cans of beer. 囧尼: We also found GHB in their blood samples. 凯姐: So they were roofed by someone. 囧尼: And Dana's alchol standard is 0.07. V警探: Wait. That's not even enough to be drunk. 於是凯姐跟V警探讯问Dana. Dana: ... I think his name is Kyle. We never got his last name. Stacy invited him. We drank a lot last night, and then Stacy want to dance. He knocked our door. And then... suddenly, she went with him inside the bedroom. 凯姐: Leave you alone with Brad. Dana: It... it wasn't like that. He rapped me! I slept with the same one whole my life. And he thought I would have unprotected sex with him!? V警探: That's why you puch him through the balcony. Dana: I didn't push him. After Brad rapped me, I went inside to look for Stacy. And Kyle grab me and pushed me down. He said it was his turn. Then... Brad came in, Kyle flap him. He just kept shoving him. Then... it all happened. 凯姐跟囧尼讨论案件进展. 囧尼: So she witnessed the murder. And she said nothing to us? 凯姐: Kyle said if she tells anyone, he wil cme back and kill her. She was shocked. 小哈跟烤鱼展示不同的羽毛, 表示在Stacy跟Dana房间找到的羽毛, 跟房间内物品如枕头等使用的羽毛不一样~~ 小哈: These are polyester fibers. I happend to know by personal experience that a Pillow Club in town using them. 烤鱼: Maybe that's where they met Kyle. 烤鱼跟囧尼前往该酒吧... 烤鱼: What did they use of those pillows in a bar? 囧尼: Well, see those waiters? You're home dressing casually or even half-naked, what should happen next? 烤鱼: That's kinky. 囧尼: That sends quite a clear message. (接近一名女侍者) Excuse me. Do you remember seeing those two women here last night? They're drinking. Drinking a lot. 女侍: It was my night odd, but check the bar. Our bartender Kyle. He was working. 两人接近吧台... 烤鱼: Hey, LVPD. What happened to your head? (指指Kyle头上的伤) Kyle: A hit in the bar. 烤鱼: Huh? Kyle: I said I got a hit in the bar. 烤鱼: Oh yeah? (上前一把撕掉OK绷) 囧尼: Looks like you hit an iron. 回到局里 Kyle: It is rediculous. 烤鱼: The attempt rape or the murder? Kyle: Both. 囧尼: Is it? We found GHB in their blood. You're the bartender, you have the easiest access to the drinks. Kyle: Man, you have no ideas what happened. She asked for that, okay? She said she wants a party. To loose control. 烤鱼: So you have party with Stacy. You thought you just have to have sex with Dana then? Kyle: No! She went mental. Pushing me out of the room. And that guy came across to check what happened. 囧尼: Then? Kyle: I spent the rest time of the night in ER to deal with my head! You can check the Desert's Palm. 囧尼: I'll do that. 莎拉听取罗宾爷爷的验屍报告, 一边碎碎念~~ 罗宾爷爷: May I interupt. 莎拉: Yes? 罗宾爷爷: These are talon marks. You know, parrots are smart. You can teach them everything. Even let themselves in and out the cage. 莎拉: There is no way a bird can pick up a knife and stab Mrs. Erwin! Right? 於是莎拉去找正在pet-sitting的小哈, 显然黄虎斑很讨厌那只鹦鹉, 一直要用猫掌去巴牠, 鹦鹉也不甘示弱的大吼大叫. 小哈: (看到莎拉松一口气) What is this with the family? Even the pets hate each other! 莎拉: Why didn't you just seperate them away? (动手移笼子) 小哈: Well, I have... ornitholophia. 莎拉: You're afraid of birds! 小哈: Yeah. Thanks to the geese in the backyard of my Aunt XXX! 莎拉: (挑眉) 小哈: They're Canadian. I thought thet're friendly. 莎拉: All right. So we'll have to take process of both of them. 小哈: (一秒都没停顿) I'll take tha cat. 小哈把猫咪抱在怀里盖掌印, 挑出指甲里的迹证. 莎拉检查鹦鹉, 发现鹦鹉翅膀盖住的肚子侧边有血迹... 莎拉: What is that? What happened to you!? 莎拉跟小葛去向布拔报告他们的结论. 莎拉: ...When he flapped his wings, he sent the blood to the wall. 小葛: The parrot killed Mrs. Erwin. Think it in another way. 布拔: Don't think it as a cartoon? 莎拉: Well, Mr. Erwin is giving a bath to the parrot when he went into the bathroom for a shower. And that's when the cat jumped to him. For the cat's defense, I think the cat ptobably went to the bird. They really hate each other. (画面为被猫吓到的Mr. Erwin滑倒, 先撞到墙壁在撞到水龙头, 昏迷後淹死...) 小葛: Now, Mrs. Erwin, who is making breakfast, sound the noice and decided to check it out. So the knife is already is her hand. The evidence suggests that's when the parrot flew out from the bathroom. He's panic, he attacked Mrs. Erwin. She tried to run away from the parrot, but fell onto the coffee table. And the knife on her hand... 布拔: She stabbed herself. 莎拉: And then the cat went hiding. The parrot locked himself back to the cage. My question is, since Mrs. Erwin fell on the table first, how did she call 911 and not getting blood on the phone? 囧尼告诉烤鱼说Kyle的不在场证明是成立的 囧尼: Which means Dana is lying. 烤鱼: Assuming Kyle is telling the truth, Brad was there to help. Why did she push Brad out of the balcony. Is it even possible to push a xxx pound man by herself alone? 於是烤鱼扮演Brad, 凯姐扮演Dana, 推落实验进行中. 烤鱼: (摔倒软垫上後起身) How's it? 凯姐: Ray, your ass is a piece of art. 囧尼: That's not right. The way you fell doesn't fit with Brad's injury. 烤鱼: What if he is sitting on the balcony? (坐上模拟栏杆) 囧尼: We know he and Dada have sex before he died. She's with him on the balcony... 烤鱼: (坐好後拍拍自己的大腿) Have a sit, boss. 凯姐: Me? 囧尼: I'm not going there. 凯姐: (跨坐上烤鱼的膝上) Danger just an exicting fuel? 烤鱼: Suspended congress. 凯姐: What? 烤鱼: That's what the pose be called. It's in the Karma Sultra. 凯姐: (偷笑着跟从背後扶她的囧尼交换了眼神) 烤鱼: What? I'm a doctor. 囧尼: Yup. You guys ready? (凯姐向後仰双手搭着烤鱼, 烤鱼往後摔) (看着烤鱼身上的痕迹) That's a match with Brad Malone's injury. 凯姐询问Dana Dana: I have three amazing children. My husband is the only man I'll look directly... 凯姐: Until Brad. Dana: ... There is an immediate connection. I lost control! And it's not even me! My husband and I have sex twice a month! I can't tell; I don't know how to explain to my husband. A man died while I have sex with him. Incrediable, mind-blowing sex. 凯姐: You do need a piece of explanation to him anyway now. And a piece of advice? The part of mind-blowing sex? I'd leave that part out. 凯姐去找V警探... 凯姐: Hi. V警探: Hey. Case closed? 凯姐: Yeah. (沉默了一下) I know you're upset. You think I am not trust enough to you. I just don't think those things worth telling. V警探: You own a piece of the Eclipse. And you think it's not necessary to tell me? 凯姐: But, Lou, That's nothing about us! This is who I am. Please don't try to change me. I promise I won't try to change you. V警探: Take it or leave it? 凯姐: Call me when you decide. 小葛跟莎拉在陪鹦鹉~~ 莎拉: We find a new home for you. No cat. Just lovely people and another bird. 小葛: This is yout last chance. If you hurt anyone, your geese in the oven is gone. (伤到自己的手) Damn it! 莎拉: (看着小葛的手开始流血) You okay? 小葛: Yeah. 结果桌上的鹦鹉忽然动了起来, 走到电话旁边, 挪开话筒, 按了911. 警方: What can I help you? 鹦鹉: Help me! Help me! 莎拉跟小葛目瞪口呆的看着... 莎拉: No blood on the phone. 小葛: (大笑, 对鹦鹉说) You've been hold that on us! 本集心得: 1) Stacy跟Dana的案子很无聊... 果然不是每个大婶都能上演麦迪逊之桥之类的事情的~~ 2) 猫跟鸟是我最喜欢的两种动物!(大心) 小哈抱着黄虎斑黄虎斑乖乖的任他摆布的样子好可爱! 不停尝试跟鹦鹉说话的小葛很好笑(最後还被鹦鹉摆了一道~~XD) 3) 我差点以为女王在坐考鱼大腿的时候Vartan会忽然出现哩! 是说当然明白Vartan不是乱吃飞醋啦... Trust issue经历过的人都知道是真的很伤的事, 但是女王都搭台阶了, 伸手扶她下来有那麽难吗? (唉~~) 结论还是阿编你就放过他们的关系一马会死吗? XDD --

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