I had always been a night person, meaning that I tend to work better at night. Or rather that I don't work very well early in the morning! To me, getting up very early is a lot harder than staying awake till very late at night. However, I've never stayed up all night so far. Not because I can't, because I know I can if I wanted to, but simply because I've always been told that it's very bad for your liver! @@ However, I've been having second thoughts about the night lately. I'm not sure I like it so much anymore. I used to enjoy so much the peacefulness, when everything is quiet and dark, when half the city has gone to sleep, and you've stayed up awake, writing, reading or doing whatever. These days, I've found the night to be a little terrifying. Everything is too quiet, too peaceful, that it's almost sinister! Innocent objects look scary in dark, or semi-darkness, and the persistent silence creates a ringing in my ears. The most powerful feeling I feel during the night now is loneliness. Sometimes it gets to a stage that I start to panic a little. I long for the noise of the day, for the expected ringing of the phone... Being a night person becomes a burden rather than a joy. If only I could go to sleep early, perhaps the night will simply be lost in sweet dreams. Yet I linger on, looking at the clock tick till past midnight, almost stubbornly. Is the night still beautiful for me? Perhaps yes, in one way at least. I think about the people that I love and care about the most, and of happy memories, and of happy dreams for the future. That, although painful, is sweet in itself. --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 210.246.0.77