Really need somebody to talk to or at least a place to drop some words. It always feels so good to write in Eng while it's a way for me to run away from the reality for a while.... (Hey, a while head and a while end in one clause! Some fun... :P) Okay.......maybe it's my BIG AUNTIE that has brought me such self-confusing depression! ~"~ And the parent of my student played a role in this too. And the male friend also did a little part in this. You saw me tell you "I am so in a bad mood" for at least 3 times, and you didn't ask even once "What happened? Are you well?" What does it mean? Does it mean I can move forward to know a new guy now? Normally I know one guy for one time. And when I see that you are only interested in good food or traveling or other happy things, I guess we can be "good friends", but never the one for each other. Do hope to meet a guy that I can not only share the good and happy parts of my life but also some depressing or confusing moments. Of course even after grumbling, I still have to deal with all the matters by myself, but it feels good to have sb to talk to. Men need that, too. Don't they? Recently the marriage problems happening to my intimate friend really freak me out. She complains about it all the time. Although I do think her husband has a lot to do with this disappointing situation, I don't think she should always talk about it in front of her kids. No kids would love to hear about "divorce" so often. Even they don't know how to express their feelings, they DO FEEL! What could be even worse is that they might replicate their parents' habits in dealing with the conflict in a relationship. That could lead to family problems for generations. Since she is a little bit stubborn, not easily taking advice, I tried a soft way to remind her this. She got quiet a little bit. But she thought of other things to complain about. I guessed she was so unhappy and needed a true friend to tell whatever was in her mind, so I didn't emphaize on this too much. Hope she finds a healthier way to deal with her problems...... and BE HAPPY............. Besides worrying about her kids' feelings, I've also been confused about finding my future mate. When I was in university, boys came so quickly and I never had to or knew to think more about if we two really fit each other. We simply fell in love, got along for some period, and, when we had quarrels, we left each other. Things always happened like that. Too easy. But it's never what we can do in a marriage. When we decide to get married, no matter what bad things happen, if we don't want to break up and get divorced, we have to suffer it for the rest of our life. The best situation is that "the other half" is talkable. Problems can be solved after a healthy conversation. However, most men I know now can have fun (go shopping, have good food, go for a one-day trip, ect) with me, but never expectable to face some harsh times with me. Well-educated ones are too proud. I hate proud people. Their high pride makes them look dumb. And we can never tell them that. However, other guys think my abilities at work or at learning mean "threat" to them. They are not confident of themselves. To me, this is really awkward./_\ What? Can't I be a well-educated but also easy-to-get-along-with woman? And the only way to maintain a good relationship is by controlling? Well, having these concerns in mind, physics doesn't seem to be hard anymore. (Physics was so dxxn hard for me when in high school.) Sorry for the murmur......... orz Thanks for the space here. I feel a little better now........................ ^.^" --

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