大家好，我又来叨扰了。 综合看翻译教课书以及我自己看翻译书的经验，我想翻译的重点就在正确理解原文文意， 以及用正确的中文写出来。 在试着翻译的过程中，最困扰我的是「正确理解原意」这部分，因为我是自学，身边没有 人来告诉我翻译得究竟正不正确。至於译文的流畅性还有翻译腔的问题，我一直在努力揣 摩。不过自己看自己总是看不准的，只好厚着脸皮将译文贴上来，恳请各位前辈指教了。 下文是哈利波特的一篇fan fic部分章节的翻译，恳请指正。 -- One morning she goes for a swim in the nearby lake. Afterwards, clad only in a dark red bikini and one of James's shirts, she heads for the meadow where she generally conjures the house, and Albus appears in her path. The green-tinted shadows of the trees cool his robe's random glitter, pattern its silk with curious symbols. He resembles the wild green man of the woods, sly and strange and imbued with old magic. His hair shines coppery in the chlorophyll twilight. He's cradling something in both arms, something covered with a frayed pink blanket, and his chin is held high, his glasses impenetrable with leafy reflections. Then he tilts his head down and peers over them. 某天早晨，她去附近的湖泊游泳。後来，当她身上只套了件红色比基尼泳衣与詹姆 的衬衫，走向河边那片她通常在那里变出房子的低洼地时，阿不思就出现在她的行 进路线上。在被染绿了的林木影子掩映下，他长袍上那些不规则地闪烁着的奇妙符 号刺绣，不再那麽跳跃刺眼。他就像森林里的野绿人，神秘兮兮，陌生奇异，充 满古老的魔力，头发在斑斓绿影间，闪耀着红铜光彩。他轻轻摇晃着臂弯里的某样 东西，某样盖着一件磨损的粉红色毛毯的东西，他的下颚昂起，眼镜因蓊翠树影而 变得无法透视。之後，他歪着头，仔细端详他们。 Lily, in sandals, lisps to a stop, and Albus smiles, bouncing the bundle while she buttons her shirt, uncomfortable to be half-naked in his presence. "Well met, my dear. Shall we walk a short way? I'd like you to meet Tom." 穿着凉鞋的莉莉，含糊咕哝一声停下步伐，扣上衬衫钮扣，对在他面前呈半裸状态 感到很不自在。阿不思一边微笑，一边上下摇晃怀中那捆小东西，「幸会，亲爱的 ，我们散步一小段路如何？我想要你认识汤姆。」 He pinches a fold of blanket and lifts it up to reveal a small, squinched face. Lily bends forward, then straightens with a jerk. "Heavens. Poor little sprog. What's wrong with him?" 他捏着毛毯折叠起来的一角，将毛毯掀了开来，露出一张皱巴巴的小脸。莉莉弯身 凑前一看，猛地直起身来，「老天，可怜的小家伙，他出了什麽问题？」 The baby's face is raw and scabby, scrunched reddish-purple with temper and pain. 那婴儿的脸庞红肿，长满疙瘩，因愤怒和痛苦皱成红紫色的。 "In this case? Hard to say. In a larger sense, of course, everything's wrong. And yet I can't actually determine the cause. As a consequence, however, little Tomhere is tetchy and ill humoured most of the time and needs constant looking after. I was wondering if you – " 「在这种情况下？很难说。当然，从更广义的角度来看，每件事都出了问题，而且 我真的还无法确定原因，可是就後果来看，这个小汤姆大部分时候都脾气暴躁，心 情不好，需要毫不间断地照看。我想知道是否你－－」 "Tom?" As the pieces fall into place, Lily's voice climbs an octave, with a screechy edge that makes her sound a lot like Tuney. "As in, Tom Riddle? You want me to help you take care of a blasted baby Voldemort?" She scuttles back in alarm and doesn't add, although her tone implies it, Have you lost your bloody mind? 「汤姆？」就像碎片落进了正确的位置，莉莉的嗓子高了八度音，由於处在尖叫的边 缘，她的声音听起来很像佩妮。「汤姆‧瑞斗的那个汤姆？你想要我帮你照顾一个可 恶的佛地魔宝宝？」她惊恐得打住话语，没再多说什麽，尽管她的语气暗示着：你失 去你该死的理智了吗？ "Well." Unruffled, Albus turns away. Dead leaves swirl outward from the hem of his robes as he begins to stroll along the winding path through the woods. Lily finds she can't really refuse to follow, although her heart pounds as if she's been asked to do something life-threatening. "He isn't actually a Dark Lord in his present condition," Albus lectures genially. "In fact, he's more a life in potentia, if you take my meaning. That's why he's here. He's neither alive nor dead, and he could shift states at any moment. Pure possibility in naked infant form." He shoots her a sharp look. "But quite diseased, as you see." 「嗯。」阿不思平静地转身离开。在他开始沿着蜿蜒曲折的小径漫步在森林中时，枯 叶打着旋飞离他长袍的下摆。莉莉发现，尽管自己的心脏怦怦跳得好似被要求去做某 件危及生命的事情，她还是不能真的拒绝服从他。「就目前的状况而言，他确实不是 黑魔王。」阿不思和蔼地解说道：「事实上，他是处在更潜在的生命状态，假如你明 白我的意思的话。这就是他在这里的原因。他既不是活着的，也不是死去的，而且可 能在任何时候转换他的状态。」他锐利地瞥她一眼。「就像你所看到的，除了病得颇 重外，他以全身赤裸的婴儿型态出现，纯粹是机率使然。」 Lily hurries along beside him, wrestling with her temper. Her wet hair annoys her by streaking the blue cotton shirt with drips, so she dries herself with a thought and then, surrendering to necessity, transfigures her outfit. There. She's decent now. Albus doesn't acknowledge her inward battle or outward transformation, except to walk for some distance in benign silence. 莉莉奋力对抗烦躁的情绪，急急忙忙赶到他身边。湿漉漉的头发滴滴答答弄得蓝色棉 质衬衫上一条条的水痕，这情况令她恼怒不已，所以她稍一动念把自己变乾了，然後 向迫切的需要投降，改变她的服装仪表。这就行了，她现在很像样了。阿不思没有承 认他注意到了她的内在挣扎或外在变化，但是很体贴地默默走远了一点。 That's when Lily notices they've got company. Off to one side, flickering between tree trunks and underbrush, another figure keeps pace, gliding noiselessly on a parallel track. Tawny hair glows like gold coins in dappled sunlight, and if he's attempting to conceal himself at all, he's certainly doing a crap job of it. 这时候，莉莉留意到他们已经结伴而行。一旁，树干与灌木丛间光影摇曳，另一边， 风景寂静无声地定速滑动在与之平行的小径上。在斑斓阳光的映照下，阿不思黄褐色 的头发焕发金币一般的光彩，倘若他企图彻底隐藏自己的形迹，那他肯定做得蹩脚已 极。 "The reason I'm asking you to help," Dumbledore remarks at last, tugging his sleeve free of the twigs overgrowing the path, "is that this pitiful – figment – is also part of Harry." 「我请求你帮忙的理由是，」一边将袖子从伸进小径的嫩枝上扯开来，邓不利多终 於谈到：「这个可怜的、虚构出来的小东西，也是哈利的一部份。」 Lily stops in her tracks with a squeal of breath, mouth working, aware that Dumbledore's robes have ceased rustling as he pauses on the path to wait her out. Dry leaves crunch on for a step or two before Grindelwald falls still. She feels his sly, amused gaze observing her through the stained-glass patterns of the leaves. Birdsong loops through the canopy, and feathered shadows flash by. Her mind races from one dreadful implication to the next. Merlin forgive her. She loathes Tom Riddle with every fibre of her being. What she feels for Snape is microscopic compared to her boiling hatred of Voldemort. She would grind him underfoot if she could, snap every bone in his body to prevent him hurting Harry. She would do anything. 莉莉尖锐地吸口气，停住了脚步，嘴巴一再颤动着，同时察觉到由於邓不利多暂时 停在小径上，等着她从震惊中恢复过来，他的长袍已不再沙沙作响。枯叶被一或两 个脚步踩得啪喳作响，然後格林戴华德静悄悄的到来。她感到他淘气愉悦的目光透 过染色玻璃般的树叶，仔细观察着她。林荫间鸟鸣悠扬婉转，羽影一闪即逝，她的 思绪从一个极其可怕的暗示急速转到了下一个。梅林原谅她，她用身上的每一根纤 维憎恨汤姆‧瑞斗。相较於对伏地魔的炽烈恨意，她对石内卜的厌恶小到要用显微 镜才能观察得到。倘若可以，她会把佛地魔踩在脚下碾过来蹂过去，折断他的每一 根骨头，免得他伤害哈利。她会做尽一切。 But for him to be part of – for him to actually be Harry – 但他是一部份的－－他其实就是哈利－－ Eyes wet, insides quaking with horror, she stares at Dumbledore and realizes for one terrifying, world-shaking moment, that it's possible to hate him, too. 她的眼泪涌了出来，五脏六腑惊恐地颤抖着，在这个令人害怕的、震惊世界的片刻 ，她瞪视邓不利多，领悟到憎恨他也是有可能的。 "Don't take on so," the old – or rather, not so old – man murmurs, slim hand patting a blanket-covered bottom. Even so, it's hard to tell whether he's cajoling the petulant child in his arms or Lily herself. When she drags her feet forward, chest aching too painfully for coherent speech, he gives her a sympathetic nod. At least he doesn't dare to pat her bottom. Sometimes she thinks Albus's compassion merely sugar-coats the poison he hands out like candy. 「别这样，」这位苍老的－－更确切的说，是没那麽苍老的－－男人喃喃说道，单 薄的手轻拍盖在毛毯底下的小屁股。虽然如此，还是很难分辨出他是在哄骗怀里那 个坏脾气的小孩，抑或是在安抚莉莉。当她拖着脚步走上前，胸口疼得没法把话说 清楚时，他同情地对她点了点头。至少他不敢拍她的屁股。有时候，她认为阿不思 的怜悯不过是裹了糖衣的毒药，他递出这毒药，好似递出的是糖果。 --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 125.224.9.211 ※ 编辑: adrolian 来自: 125.224.9.211 (06/22 10:45)