作者spacedunce5 (读不完的书)
看板Translation
标题Re: [英中] 求诗中翻英
时间Sat Nov 5 23:24:00 2011
※ 引述《cat1442 (豸苗)》之铭言：
把你的影子加点盐
腌起来
风乾
老的时候
下酒
I take your shadow and add some salt
to preserve it
winddried
and when I'm old
partake with wine.
请各位鞭小力一点。^^
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※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 122.124.101.2
1F：→ usread:imperative mood? 11/06 00:24
Well, there is no visible subject . . . and it's shorter this way.
2F：→ usread:下威士忌或高梁似乎比较合 :-) 11/06 00:25
But then it wouldn't (half-)rhyme with "winddried."
3F：推 l10nel:No such use for "partake". How about: and when I'm old/ 11/06 06:57
4F：→ l10nel:it goes (well) with wine OR it complements wine 11/06 06:58
5F：→ l10nel:or, change "it" to "it'll" to add a tad of modality: 11/06 07:00
To me, this poem is too serious for contractions that don't conserve a
syllable; as for "partake," again, it's shorter and thus has more power (it's
also more concrete). Oh, you mean the colllocation! Well, partake is
intransitive . . . and has connotations of eating . . . so I guess it's okay?
※ 编辑: spacedunce5 来自: 122.124.101.26 (11/06 11:44)
6F：→ usread:中文「隐主词」可你可我,但英文现简式读起来总觉得是you~~ 11/06 11:48
这麽一说的确两半主词不一……。
※ 编辑: spacedunce5 来自: 122.124.101.26 (11/06 11:54)
7F：推 MariaChen:新诗不用押韵，每行首可大写（即使接前句），最後一句可 11/06 12:49
8F：→ MariaChen:参考「To take with wine」。 11/06 12:49
9F：→ MariaChen:二楼：说不定夏宇想喝小/米酒遥想旧友…。 11/06 12:52
10F：→ usread:不过原诗押了韵。嗯中国人喝酒下酒通常不是葡萄水果发酵酒 11/06 12:56
11F：→ usread:I'll? 11/06 12:59
12F：→ usread:或 I'd (would)? 11/06 13:01
13F：推 MariaChen:啊…米酒是应时事乱凑。此诗短而幽默，没那麽严肃啦。 11/06 13:32
14F：→ spacedunce5:原文已经改成现在式罗～ @MariaChen to 这里不合文法 11/06 15:08
15F：推 l10nel:partake问题不在搭配，而在意思，人+partake of+食物 11/06 15:10
16F：→ l10nel:几个人一起分享、享受食物，但partake with意思我就不懂了 11/06 15:12
17F：→ l10nel:partake with wine的主词是什麽？还是祈使句？ 11/06 15:14
18F：→ usread:葡萄酒vs.烈酒下影子吃,意味差很多.wine在英文语境里就是葡 11/06 15:56
19F：→ usread:萄酒,和蒸馏酒很不同的.「酒趣」截然不同吧 11/06 15:57
20F：→ spacedunce5:@l10nel partake + with wine, 主词是第一段的 I 11/06 22:30
21F：推 l10nel:了解了，所以是 I partake of it with wine 但of it是明显 11/07 08:26
22F：→ l10nel:含义故省略（何况在诗里），或partake作vi.也通:) 11/07 08:27
23F：推 l10nel:最後两行：And when I'm old/with wine it goes. 11/07 18:36